


Deodorant

by DoomedKelpie



Series: Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [11]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (just mentioned though) - Freeform, Comedy, Dermatillomania, Excoriation Disorder, Implied/Referenced Mental Illness, Janus and Remus are friends, Light Angst, Logan and Remus are friends, Mental Illness, Pranks, Remus being Remus, Skin picking, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, hijinks ensue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29123457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie
Summary: Janus and Remus try to prank the others (mostly Roman, though).
Series: Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002450
Comments: 10
Kudos: 63





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> (Sorry for the delay; honestly, I was distracted by finishing a blanket I’ve been crocheting).
> 
> Okay, so, at least the first piece of this is more comedic than the other parts, but it does get back into angst toward the end, as things I write usually do. For the funny part, I think I managed to keep it from turning into crack for once.
> 
> And just so you all know, this part takes place back in the ‘present’ for this story rather than the past. Just clarifying ‘Cuz I’ve been doing a lot of past events with this story recently.

Virgil, Patton, Roman, and Logan had just returned to the mindscape after helping Thomas film a video, and since it was just about time to start dinner, the four of them ventured into the kitchen. 

Upon entering said kitchen, they were mildly surprised to find Janus leaning against the counter (after all, despite being somewhat less reclusive now, the side still liked to spend a lot of time in his room). More surprising than his presence, however, was that he was holding a particular object, and not merely holding it, but  _ consuming _ it.

“... Kiddo… are you… eating deodorant…?” Patton eventually questioned slowly, as the others all stared in shock.

As if he had only just noticed them- though they knew that he had, in fact, noticed them as soon as they walked in- Deceit focused his gaze to look at the fatherly side, giving him a small, pleasant smile, with no trace of a smirk in sight.

“Hello, everyone. Filming went well, I presume?”

They all stared at him, or, more accurately, stared at the deodorant in his hand, which appeared to have been half-eaten already.

“Don’t dodge the question, Lielo and Stitch,” Roman spoke up, his nick-naming ability hindered by the shock of the sight before them. “Are you  _ seriously _ eating deodorant right now?!”

Janus stared back at them for a moment before his eyes slowly lowered to look down at the hygiene item in his hand. 

“It would seem that I am,” he spoke casually.

“... Janus, are you feeling okay, kiddo?” Patton asked in concern, feeling as though something must be wrong for Janus to be doing this. “You aren’t sick, are you?”

“Hm? No, I’m completely fine,” Deceit responded casually, an eyebrow raised as if  _ they _ were the ones behaving strangely. “Why would you believe I’m ill?”

“Janus,” addressed Logan. “You are aware that deodorant is  _ not _ edible, correct?”

“Whatever are you all on about?” Janus replied. “I assure you that this is entirely edible. It’s quite good, actually.”

There was a long pause. 

“... Jan, say that again with the color of the sky,” Virgil requested.

Janus’s small smile widened.

“The sky is blue, and this is edible,” he told them.

“... What the fu…”

And then Roman’s eyebrows crinkled. 

“Dear glitter glue, I think he’s been spending too much time with my brother,” he spoke. “Clearly, Remus has corrupted him.”

Janus tilted his head, and his eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly.

“Oh, so now I’m corrupted for merely enjoying a tasty snack?”

“It’s  _ deodorant!” _

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, Roman,” Janus told him as he stepped away from the counter and started approaching the group of confusedly concerned sides. “Maybe you should try it before you jump to conclusions.”

And then Janus put out his hand, offering the deodorant to Roman like a gift.

“What?! I am  _ not _ going to eat that deodorant!” Roman protested.

Janus blinked at him as though he was surprised.

“Oh, that’s right! I’ve already bitten this one!” he exclaimed. “Sharing like this would be  _ entirely _ unsanitary.”

“Kiddo, maybe we should go get the thermometer…”

Without responding to Patton, Janus dug around in one of his pockets and pulled out a second, unopened, pristine stick of deodorant.

“Here we are!” Janus announced, now holding out the new stick. 

Roman sputtered.

“I’m not going to eat it just because you haven’t bitten it!”

“Well, why  _ not? _ ” Janus asked, a challenge in his eyes. “Are you  _ scared?” _

“Jan, what the  _ hell _ has gotten into you-”

“Don’t tell me that  _ brave _ prince Roman is too scared to do something  _ Remus _ does every day,” Janus continued, giving the prince a  _ look _ .

At this point, it was pretty clear that Janus was up to  _ something _ , something that involved getting Roman to eat deodorant, but none of them quite knew what that something was. 

Regardless, Roman wasn’t going to stand being called a coward, so despite all reason telling him not to, he quickly swiped the unopened stick of deodorant out of Janus’s hand and pulled it open. 

“ _ What _ are you doing, Princey?!” Virgil questioned as he watched Roman twist the deodorant up.

Roman stared down at the white, unblemished surface of the deodorant. There was no way he was actually going to do this, right?

“Um, Roman, kiddo-”

“Roman, participating in whatever hijinks are ensuing isn’t going to help anything.”

And yet, there he was, slowly starting to bring the deodorant up toward his lips…

.

.

.

Only to be stopped by boisterous, cackling laughter.

“ _ Remus _ , you’ve ruined it!” Janus hissed, though he, too, was laughing.

“Wha-”

And then Remus popped up from… somewhere.

“Oh my  _ God _ , but did you  _ see _ the look on Ro’s face?!” Remus laughed, even louder. “He was  _ totally _ gonna eat it!”

He pointed a finger into Roman’s face.

“And you really thought it was  _ actually _ deodorant, didn’t you?!”

“Huh?”

“Wait, wait. It’s not really deodorant?” Virgil questioned. 

Janus gave the anxious side a truly incredulous look.

“Of course not,” he answered. “Why would I eat  _ deodorant _ ?”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Patton sighed in relief.

“Ah, this makes much more sense,” Logan hummed. “I thought that, perhaps, since we are imaginary, you were taking advantage of the fact that consuming deodorant wouldn’t cause any lasting health concerns.”

“Ha, you losers all looked so  _ serious! _ ” Remus wheezed. “Like, all this time, you really thought it was deodorant! I bet you wouldn’t have  _ ever _ figured it out if we didn’t decide to pull a prank! I mean,  _ how _ many times have you seen me eating it?”

Roman blinked. 

“Wait, so,  _ your _ deodorant isn’t actually deodorant either?”

“Nope! Haha, you dumbasses really thought I’d be able to convince  _ Dee _ of all people to eat  _ actual _ deodorant!” Remus responded, giggling. “That’s  _ hilarious! _ ”

“I fail to see why this is particularly funny, but I do suppose you two had us fooled,” spoke Logan. “So, Virgil, you didn’t know about this?”

Virgil seemed surprised that the attention had somehow shifted to him.

“What? No, Remus didn’t start the eating deodorant thing until after I left,” he replied. “I mean, I figured Janus was up to something, though. I just didn’t know what.”

“Aw, did you play along with our little joke, emo?” Remus cooed.

“Oh, can it, Remus,” Virgil hissed, though there wasn’t any venom behind it. “I just wanted to see if Princey would actually do it.”

“Traitor!” Roman accused dramatically.

“So, if it isn’t really deodorant, what is it?” Patton questioned, looking between Janus and Remus.

Remus shrugged.

“It’s just candy,” he said simply. “My own recipe!”

“It’s banana flavored.”

“You  _ bet _ it is!”

“... Not  _ that _ kind of banana.”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything!”

“But you implied it.”

“Maaaaaybe.”

“Alright, let’s try to keep this PG, kiddos-”

“I think it might be a little too late for that, Popstar.”


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there’s a little bit of angst in this chapter.
> 
> Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SNAKE BOI!!

Later that day, Janus heard a knock on his door, and he expected it to be either Roman coming to tell him off or Patton to gently scold him. Or maybe Virgil if he didn’t find their little prank very funny after all. However, once he pulled the door open, he found Logan alone on the other side. 

“Good evening, Janus.”

“Oh. Good evening, Logan.”

“May I come in?”

“... Alright.”

For a moment, Janus felt a small wave of worry in his mind as he thought that maybe  _ Logan _ was going to scold him. But he didn’t actually have much time to worry about that because Logan started talking almost immediately. 

“Apologies for showing up unannounced,” Logan began. “I just wanted to be sure that I understand your intentions.”

“... My intentions…?” 

Janus didn’t like the sound of that. It really sounded like Logan probably  _ was _ angry about the prank. He tried to keep himself from allowing the fear to rise up in his chest by reminding himself of what Virgil told him. They weren’t going to start hating him again because of one little thing. 

But maybe Logan was mad about other things too? Maybe this was the last straw? Maybe Logan hated him after all, and he was tired of pretending? No, that was too extreme, and besides, he had a good sense of when Logan lied. It couldn’t have all been pretend. But still, that didn’t mean Logan wasn’t mad at him. 

The second that Janus started messing with the fingertips of his gloves, Logan noticed.

“Janus. You seem to be experiencing cognitive distortions of some kind,” he said. “Though I can’t be completely sure of the reason, I will say that I’m not here to lecture you. I merely want clarification and a brief discussion. Is that alright with you?”

Janus stilled his hands, clenching them before he made them lie motionless at his sides. He took a deep breath and nodded, cursing himself for letting his thoughts go out of control again.

“Good,” Logan spoke, nodding. “After today’s… ‘deodorant’ incident, I spoke with Virgil, and he had a theory about your true intentions with it. I came to ask you if he was right.”

“... Okay…?”

“Virgil says you’ve been trying to show us that Remus isn’t as bad as we believe in an attempt to get us to accept him,” Logan stated plainly. “Is this correct?”

Suddenly, Janus felt a spike of defensiveness, though it was for Remus’s sake rather than his own. 

“And what if it is?” the deceitful side evaded.

Logan sighed lightly. 

“I’m going to assume that was confirmation.”

Janus crossed his arms.

“He’s… Remus really isn’t bad. He can be a handful, and he can be disturbing, and he can go too far, but what you’ve seen of him isn’t all he is,” Janus explained, even though Logan hadn’t asked him to. “He does a lot more than give Thomas intrusive thoughts. Actually, he can’t even control that sometimes. Some of his ideas aren’t great, but he’s just as creative as Roman when he’s allowed to be.”

He would probably be mortified if Remus heard this, but there was also a part of him that knew that Remus probably  _ should _ hear this sometime.

“He just… He wants to be heard. And he acted out,” Janus continued. “So, I know you all don’t have the best impression of him, but…”

“Janus.”

He stopped talking.

“I know that already. When I talked to Virgil, he told me that the three of you used to be friends, and he explained that Remus had been a bit more… ‘Extra’ than usual when he first appeared to Thomas, and it scared him,” Logan told Janus. “And I admit that, initially, I mostly felt mild annoyance toward his antics. I have, however, recently started to alter my opinion of him.”

What?

“Remus has been coming by my room lately to talk, and he’s surprisingly knowledgeable about biology,” Logan revealed. “And while his knowledge likely comes from some more… disturbing sources, I have found that speaking with him can actually be rather enjoyable.”

“O-Oh.”

“So, in conclusion, I actually agree with your attempts to try to include Remus in our activities,” Logan finished. “I admit that I’m currently unsure how exactly to further the attempts beyond what you’ve already been doing. I doubt Remus would want to have a ‘heart-to-heart’ as we did with you, and Roman doesn’t seem willing to give him a chance at the moment. Patton might also be a problem because, even though he tries not to show it, I believe Remus terrifies him. On a more positive note, however, Virgil seems to want to encourage you with your endeavors with Remus despite his own fears. The two of us can try to help convince the others, I believe.”

He already knew most of that, but he was surprised about Logan’s attitude change. The other side’s usual tactics for ‘dealing’ with Remus typically included ignoring him and pretending that whatever he did didn’t matter. At what point had that changed? When did these little conversations with Remus begin? Was it possible that he had misjudged Logan’s glances that day he played games with Remus in the living room? Or was this more recent, and that’s why Logan hadn’t brought it up until now?

“... Alright… That’s… good… great.”

Logan nodded. 

“Well, I’ve discussed what I’ve come here for, so I should let you get back to what you were doing before I arrived.”

And then Logan turned and started to step toward the door. Without even fully registering what he was doing, Janus put out an arm to stop him. 

“Logan, wait.”

The other side paused and turned back to him, one eyebrow raised quizzically. 

“Yes, what is it?” he asked. “Is something bothering you? Do you need me to stay with you?”

It took Janus a moment to realize that Logan probably thought he wanted someone to be there to keep him from picking his skin. And, while that might not be a terrible idea, it wasn’t what he stopped Logan for. No, his mind was stuck on something he said earlier and that, combined with the lingering paranoia that Logan would reject him again at the drop of a hat, made him speak up.

“I… I know I’ve already said it before, but… I really am sorry about the times I silenced you or excluded you,” Janus said.

He meant it. He really did, and it wasn’t like this was the only time he’d said it and meant it. But Janus just felt like he had to say it again, to make sure that Logan still forgave him, even though he had no evidence to suggest he didn’t. 

“Oh. Well,” Logan replied, seeming slightly confused. “That’s quite alright, Janus. I understand why you did it.”

“Yes, but I know you want to be heard, too, so I… shouldn’t have prevented that.”

He felt uncomfortable at the change in topic, even though he was the one who changed it.

Logan sighed and put a hand on Janus’s shoulder. 

“Janus, I didn’t enjoy being silenced, but I already forgave you for it,” he told him. “Because I know that you wanted to be heard as well, and you felt like the only way you could be was by taking the opportunity from someone else. I know it wasn’t personal.”

The other side gave him the smallest of smiles, but Janus knew it was genuine. 

“I think we all struggle to be heard sometimes, and we have all lashed out at one point or another,” he said. “But we’ve all improved as well. All of us. Including you and me. So, let’s not continue to focus on it, alright?”

Janus nodded.

“Good. Now, do you need me to stay with you or find one of the others? Or would you rather be alone?” 

Deceit felt his chest clench with guilt.

“No, that’s… I’ll be fine by myself. I was just going to read a book and go to bed.”

“Very well. Good night, then.”

And then Logan was gone.


End file.
